Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Come see our sink grown plant.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
