a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
foreskin is a definite game changer
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
