well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
