I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
