You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
