I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
