i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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