Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
