Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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