dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
