I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
