I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
