They should really pass out barf bags in church
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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