I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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