apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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