i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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