I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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