i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
