If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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