it was like eating out sand paper
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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