He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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