I just saw a hot homeless man
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
