he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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