So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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