I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
