As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
