I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
