Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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