I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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