So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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