Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
