I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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