Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
