just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
