Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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