If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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