her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
BRING THE BAGELS
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
