I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's just like the Real World with babies
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize