so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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