I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
