party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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