obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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