I will die if light touches me.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
