never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
