remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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