I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
