It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You did what with his pubic hair?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
