I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
