I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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