On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
